Belonging in Adoption

Facilitators  

Alisa DeLage, Joe DeLage and Sandy Horton.

Overview

The Belonging in Adoption affinity group is a space for families connected to adoption through its many forms to gather in community, support identity development, and celebrate family diversity. The group centers the lived experiences of adopted children and their caregivers, including the ongoing relationship many children hold with their birth families—whether present, unknown, or complex.

We recognize that each child’s adoption story is uniquely their own, and that adoptees deserve the opportunity to define, share, or protect their story on their own terms. Caregivers will be supported in navigating these conversations with sensitivity and respect. For example, we may explore how different adoptees relate to terms like birth family, first family, or real parents, and how these words carry different meanings based on personal experience.

Gordon’s Words Matter guide already models thoughtful attention to inclusive family language. This group seeks to build on that foundation by supporting the school’s ongoing commitment to affirming identity and belonging, while also providing community, insight, and care for adoptive families navigating complex and often underrepresented experiences. 

In addition to this, it is imperative that adopted children have opportunities to connect with and feel supported by other adoptees. Identifying as an adoptee can often be isolating or difficult to navigate, especially when layered with other aspects of identity, such as race, gender, and sexual orientation. These intersectional experiences can amplify feelings of difference or invisibility, even within otherwise inclusive environments. A dedicated affinity group can provide a safe and affirming space where children and families can explore these identities in community, and where adopted children can see themselves reflected in the experiences of others.

Everyone is welcome.

Goals include:

• Create a warm, affirming space for adoptive families to connect and share experiences
• Build community for children and caregivers navigating adoption-related identity development
• Offer opportunities for shared learning around adoption-sensitive language and practices
• Partner with the school to ensure adoption is represented in curriculum, classroom discussions, and family engagement in ways that are accurate, inclusive, and affirming
• Support adoptive caregivers as they navigate conversations with children about birth family, identity, grief, and belonging in developmentally appropriate ways
• Celebrate the variety of adoption stories in our community, including transracial, international, open, and foster adoptions

Belonging in Adoption will partner with the school to:

• Work with faculty and staff to deepen adoption literacy, including how adoption is reflected in classroom materials, storybooks, family narratives, and classroom conversations
• Collaborate on professional development opportunities or resource curation to ensure inclusive, trauma-informed, and identity-conscious practices
• Encourage thoughtful, respectful discussion around topics like birth family, family structure, and identity in classroom settings, helping educators avoid assumptions and support all students' experiences
• Build on the foundation of Gordon’s Words Matter guide by inviting nuance and shared learning in how language around adoption is used in school spaces