Advice for a new beginning

above: Rebecca Bendheim '09 with Dr. Thomas López at Commencement, June 2019

As the Class of 2019 begins their new adventures at high schools across Rhode Island and Massachusetts, we wanted to remind them of the advice they received from their Commencement speaker, Rebecca Bendheim '09.

Rebecca's speech was witty, smart, and packed with insight.

Her three pieces of advice for eighth graders were:

Number one: Hold onto who you are. 

We are lucky to have gone to a school that embraces individuality and you are a class that describes yourself as having strong beliefs and wildly different interests, so there’s a good chance that many of you are more in touch with who you are than most adults. But not everywhere is like Gordon and at some point, your sense of self will be tested. I know mine was.

Number two: Find friends who love you for who you are. 

I needed permission in college to stop worrying about having enough friends and I got it from a friend, so if you need it too, this is your permission. You don’t need a lot of friends. You don’t need cool friends. You just need a few people in your life who love you for who you are. 

And number three: Stop freaking out.

This is the most common thing my friends, siblings, and coworkers wanted to go back in time and tell themselves at their eighth grade graduation. They said it in all different ways: Don’t rush, trust your gut, don’t care what people think, just breathe, it gets better, don’t be too hard on yourself. I think it’s a lot easier said than done.  You’re experiencing so much newness while surrounded by people who are going through the same things at wildly different paces and it feels like everyone is watching you. It makes complete sense to be freaking out. 

above, from left: Rebecca Bendheim '09 with Lauren Bendheim '14 and Julia Benheim '18 at Commencement, June 2019

Rebecca attended Taft School for high school and then went on to Vanderbilt University for college. She now lives in Los Angeles where she is a writer and a teacher. She recently wrote the book and lyrics to a children's musical called The Land of the Sea that was performed at a school in Austin, Texas in May. She is currently working on her MFA in Writing for Children and Young Adults at Vermont College of Fine Arts. This fall, Rebecca begins work at the Oakwood School in Los Angeles as a fifth grade teacher. When speaking to Mr. Burnstein, Rebecca shared that she received offers from two schools, and she chose Oakwood because it "felt more like Gordon."